Tag Archives: samples

Velociraptor

It’s happened. It’s official. Since retiring I have now turned into a Costco and Sam’s Club Velociraptor.  I believe you know of what I speak.  

It’s subtle. It doesn’t happen right away.  You go there, get a soda on the cheap and eat one or two of the delicious samples the nice ladies offer.  You are careful, only taking a little.  You try to be dainty. You claim that you’re full or just ate.  Slowly…slowly..you add more samples. You generally have an “enabler”.  I do. My husband.  He’s been retired for a while and is a full on Sample-Raptor.  

He witnessed me taking only one or two things at first. I had remorse for not buying every single thing that was being put out by the nice ladies. I knew they got props for selling the items they were cooking up.  He assured me it was fine, I could take that piece of cheese, that little piece of steak, that nice pasta.  Gradually my sampling increased.  

I realized my conversion was complete when I was looking forward to an upcoming holiday weekend because there would be tons of samples.  I had done it. I had become a Sample Velociraptor. I didn’t really fully notice it until today.  I actually hovered around a small older woman nuking gluten-free pizza.  I don’t have a gluten intolerance.  She was nuking the pizza. In a microwave. Normally I would find this a tad unappetizing.  I was with several other raptors and we all landed on those samples like it was a dead triceratops.  That’s when I knew. I am now hanging my small dinosaur head in shame.