It’s happened. It’s official. Since retiring I have now turned into a Costco and Sam’s Club Velociraptor. I believe you know of what I speak.
It’s subtle. It doesn’t happen right away. You go there, get a soda on the cheap and eat one or two of the delicious samples the nice ladies offer. You are careful, only taking a little. You try to be dainty. You claim that you’re full or just ate. Slowly…slowly..you add more samples. You generally have an “enabler”. I do. My husband. He’s been retired for a while and is a full on Sample-Raptor.
He witnessed me taking only one or two things at first. I had remorse for not buying every single thing that was being put out by the nice ladies. I knew they got props for selling the items they were cooking up. He assured me it was fine, I could take that piece of cheese, that little piece of steak, that nice pasta. Gradually my sampling increased.
I realized my conversion was complete when I was looking forward to an upcoming holiday weekend because there would be tons of samples. I had done it. I had become a Sample Velociraptor. I didn’t really fully notice it until today. I actually hovered around a small older woman nuking gluten-free pizza. I don’t have a gluten intolerance. She was nuking the pizza. In a microwave. Normally I would find this a tad unappetizing. I was with several other raptors and we all landed on those samples like it was a dead triceratops. That’s when I knew. I am now hanging my small dinosaur head in shame.